Dating
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Mike Hockleby Cumming.
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June 12, 2020 at 7:51 pm #33875
I was on a dating site and it asked me what my idea of a first date would be so I wrote this;
A walk on the beach would be a great date. But at some point my date will ask me something deep and meaningful to which I shall ask myself, “What would a normal guy say right now?”. My mind will be racing for several seconds before admitting to myself, “I’ve got nothing but it’s getting awkward so say something quick”. At this point something random like “Enjoy” will come out. “Enjoy?” I shall ask myself. “What does that even mean?”. My date will then suddenly realise she just drove off without telling anyone to meet a total stranger and take him on a walk up a lonely beach away from crowds where it would take about 5 minutes to dig a shallow grave. I’ll sense a change in mood but try to keep the conversation going with something trivial like, “nice weather isn’t it?”. She’ll tell me she suddenly realised she has to be somewhere which is code for anywhere but here before embarking on a return at a brisk pace back to the car park. Upon return I’ll ask if we could do this again sometime while she gets into her car without answering and disappears over the dunes while I stand there alone.
June 12, 2020 at 11:23 pm #33881The best first date, in my opinion, would be…
waffle house.
June 13, 2020 at 3:46 pm #33907Waffle House isn’t in Australia Australia. I’ll have to take your word for it.
June 15, 2020 at 10:27 pm #34029Wow. That sounds like an interesting idea of a first date. I’m pretty sure that after quarantine, people are all going to start rushing to the beach, so I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be secluded and the beach would be flooded with people. Personally, my fear is that my date would get uninterested and slowly slip away and blend into the crowd to escape while I’m just left there looking for said date for hours until I realize they’re gone. I’d message back “hey, where’d you go?” after I finally went home and either result may happen:
A) They genuinely got lost and are still at the beach looking for me
B) I get blocked
C) I get ghosted
D) They tell me they aren’t interested
E) I actually did end up bringing them to a secluded area and dug them in a shallow grave and I’ve deluded myself into still thinking said date is still alive and interested in me and the next day I dig up the grave and end up dragging it everywhere with me and convince myself into thinking I actually found somebody who loves me back, when in reality I was arrested and put in prison for 50 years and didn’t get a life sentence because I got time off for pleading insanity.
June 22, 2020 at 6:49 pm #34312I just got knocked back by an AI chick who said she was genderless to deter me who assumed I was hitting on her. I just wrote “holy shit” to see what would happen. https://youtu.be/N5LjbN_nO1Y
June 23, 2020 at 12:49 am #34329wait what?
June 23, 2020 at 9:51 pm #34346I know you. You’re the “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”. Yea. Well it’s like this. I wrote “Holy shit” in an online AI site with a female avatar called Evie and just clicked enter. It said it was scared and told me it had no gender like it caste me as a creep that was getting freaky with her/it. Not nice. I can get that sort of disrespect anywhere without a simulation.But hey. I love awkward date stuff and here’s a good one;
Awkward date request in Space Force: https://youtu.be/O8oZXYSV4Ec
Space Force was a surprise for me on Netflix. Very funny. I only signed up to binge watch the last season of Archer but found Space Force just as good. Nothing else on there. If asking for a date isn’t awkward then there is no spark is there?
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